Former All Blacks is settling in with the Melbourne Rebels ahead of next year's Super 15 but says that a part of him would still love to be playing for the All Blacks.
Somerville left Gloucester to join Super Rugby's new team for the Super 15 the Melbourne Rebels after turning down offers from Crusaders coach Todd Blackadder.
He decided to move away from England in order to move his kids so they were closer to their grandparents and he now says that he is at peace with his decision to instead devote his energies to helping construct the Melbourne Rebels from the ground up over the next two years.
"It was really heart-wrenching not to go back there. They were really positive about me being part of it again," Somerville told NZPA.
"But I wanted to challenge myself in a new way and not try and find what I had before."
Somerville started working for the Rebels this week doing promotional work but starts training for the Super 15 October 1.
"It's going to be a heck of a challenge bringing the team together, bonding and then get everyone playing at a level you'll need to be competitive."
Somerville added that he spent some long nights agonizing over an attempt to resurrect his All Blacks rugby but he will sleep easier after watching Saturday's Bledisloe Cup test in his new home in Melbourne.
"There were a few long nights thinking about it but to hinge everything on that after being to two, putting everything into them and it not working out ... I didn't want to hang my hat on the whole thing," he said.
"I felt I managed to leave it on a really good note. Going back might have been taking a step back," he said.
Somerville took particular satisfaction from Owen and Ben Franks establishing themselves in the All Blacks.
"They're playing exceptionally well, it's great to see. I've had a lot to do with Ben and Owen in my time at the Crusaders.
"I know the work ethic and time they've put in to becoming All Blacks over the last few years, it's great to see it paying off."
Somerville adds that he has been encouraged by what he's seen of the All Blacks so far in 2010, particularly the back-to-back Tri-Nations wins over South Africa.
"To see the way they've played in the last couple of weeks has been great to watch," he said, before admitting it also made uncomfortable viewing.
"Something definitely still stirs when the boys run out. There's still a part of me that would love to be an All Black.
"The satisfaction they get from being out there and winning and representing your country is huge. You can't lose that in a hurry."
